Poetic, Inspirational Living

Last year, I posted a list of things you could do to make the most of the holiday season.  This year, I thought it might be fun to add to the list with some new ideas.

• Spend some time with children.  They can be your own children, children in your family (such as nephews and nieces), or children at a local group home.  Look online or in your local library for activity ideas.  (For example, you could spend an afternoon building a gingerbread house together.)
• Think of someone who could really use some company.  It might be your widowed grandmother who is still grieving her loss, or a disabled neighbor who has no family.  Call them up and ask if you can stop by and see them for a few hours.  Bring them some treats or simply have a cup of coffee or tea with them.  People who are lonely will welcome your presence - it is often the best gift.
• Attend a service at a religious institution you have never been to before - a mosque, a synagogue or a church.  (This one requires an open mind, but it will be memorable and you will learn and experience a lot!)
• Send a holiday letter to your extended family.  This may be viewed as an archaic custom, especially with email and phone communication so popular, but you might enjoy sitting down to let the people you love know what is new in your life, as well as wish them much happiness in theirs.  Besides, it is always fun for people of all ages to receive mail.

Any other ideas?  Comment with them below.

I decided to try my hand at NaNoWriMo this year. I’ve never done it before and I was excited about the prospect. Things that involve a lot of work but great reward tend to seem wonderful before you actually dig in. Now, a week into November, I cannot help but ask myself: What in the name of all that is holy was I thinking signing up for this?

It sounded great - I’d be able to finish a first draft of my novel - which has been dragging for over six months - in one month! I’d be forced to sit down and really work hard at banging it out.

See, the idea of being “forced” is where I went wrong, I think. Because there’s no one to force you but yourself. You’re alone at your computer while your boyfriend watches football and your cat is catatonic, and you think to yourself: Gee, I wonder what happens in the next chapter of that Amy Tan novel. Or, Wow, it has been a while since I washed the kitchen floor.

Suddenly all of the inspiration, drive and excitement is gone as you power off your laptop and dash off to do other more “important” things.

I have spoken with veteran NaNoWriMo’ers and they all say that they have learned different things from it. “I learned about the development of characters.” “I learned how to move my plot along more smoothly.” If I had to name what I have learned so far this month, it’s that I am one lazy woman. Well, let me rephrase that. I have learned that wanting to achieve something takes more than an abstract desire and some visions of New York Times bestseller lists in your head. It takes hard work. It takes rolling up your sleeves and diving in, even when you’re tired or just don’t feel like it. Even when you want to shake your characters by their lapels and ask, “What are you going to do next? Tell me!”

With that revelation, maybe I should stop blogging and start writing. The kitchen floor can wait.

I’ve been starting off my days lately with adding a new inspirational quote to my status in Google Chat (feel free to add me—I’m 302designs@gmail.com). For today’s quote I chose a great one from Emerson:

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson       

I’m going to do some soul searching and find out what it is that I’m afraid of .  Just think if we each did one “scary” thing every day how strong that would make us by the end of the week. Talk about a fulfilling week.

If you’ve done something scary (no matter if it seemed small) recently that you were proud of yourself afterwards, please share. Maybe it will help other readers (and me too) come up with some ideas! 

I wanted to share a post that I just made over at another blog I write at, Born Entrepreneur:

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Sometimes it takes hearing something that takes your breath away to make you second guess yourself about how you measure success.

I encourage you to reevaluate what you’re trying to do in life by looking at the end goal of it all. Is your end goal really money? Or is it simply just happiness and you’ve brainwashed yourself to think that as soon as you get enough money you’ll finally have the time to be happy? I know it seems like hackneyed idea, but really dig deep and ask yourself “what the hell am I doing?!”

I remember several years ago I read a business book that interviewed one particular successful business man and he said the secret to his success was his wife and family. What? I read that at 21, and I thought “what a load of crap.” He said his wife’s support and love for him helped him through the toughest times and allowed him to strive for the highest peaks. Honestly, I thought he was kind of pathetic. I had always subscribed to the thought that “I don’t have time for a serious relationship. I may never get married because I wouldn’t be able to dedicate enough time to the relationship to make it work. I certainly won’t ever have kids—it’s the sacrifice I need to make in order to be ’successful’.” I look back on that mentality and realize how ignorant I was. I was totally missing the point of it all—”it” being life.

It’s not going to be here forever, so embrace every aspect of life that you have already attained–your family, your friends, your significant other, the success in your business thus far. In fact, you might be surprised to find out how successful you already are and that you’re not doing so bad after all. Once that gives you a mental confidence boost, you also might start to realize that the money part might just get a little bit easier and not seem so daunting.

Don’t neglect the loves in your life. Because that’s what got you here. And that’s what’s going to get you to the next step too.

I just got a new pet the other day. I have wanted one for a while but I finally found one who matched my personality and wishes for a pet.

Let me tell you, it is one of the nicest things ever to have an animal to love and care for! Here are some reasons why you might consider getting one yourself, to improve your quality of life:

• According to MSNBC, studies have shown that having a pet can actually add years to your life.

• Studies have also shown that pets can help reduce your stress and blood pressure levels.

• Having a pet will teach you responsibility, especially if you have never had one before and have no children. Taking care of another being who is dependent on you is much different from taking care of yourself. It will add work to your life, but it will also add warm, fuzzy feelings and an understanding of what it means to be a caretaker.

It is true that owning a pet comes with additional chores and expenses, but if you are able to get one and have an interest, I would recommend that you definitely consider it. Not only will it help you, but it will help the animal, especially considering the fact that many adoptable animals in shelters have previously been abused and mistreated. To find an adoptable pet in your area, check out Petfinder.org.

Wanted to share with you all some Positive Thinking Exercises. Two of my favorites are:

Sit up straight. Slouching down in your chair isn’t going to make you feel any better about anything that’s bothering you. Sit up straight in your chair and see if it improves your thinking.

Make a conscious decision to be resilient.In life you can either let a challenge break you down and make you see the world in a negative light or you can draw on strength you didn’t even known you had and rise above it. Choose the latter– it’s never too late.

Read the other 98 at this link:

100 Positive-Thinking Exercises to Incorporate into Your Life

Thanks to Kelly for passing this link along!

Keeping a journal has always served as an excellent way to channel feelings and document one’s life. Many of us are given small diaries as children, complete with lock and key, and with them, the license to pour out our innermost thoughts and feelings into a special place that no one else can penetrate.

In fact, many psychologists believe that journaling can lessen anxiety and depression. There are plenty of books out there on how to fully utilize the writing process in order to learn more about yourself and grow each day. Here are some of them:

• Note to Self: On Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits
• The New Diary (I strongly recommend this one. It contains all sorts of unconventional ideas that will help stimulate you beyond “Today I went to the supermarket” entries.)
• How to Make a Journal of Your Life
• The Creative Journal: The Art of Finding Yourself

I am currently reading a book entitled On Life After Death by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a scientist and author who was considered an expert on issues of death and grief. On Life After Death is a short book about what Dr. Ross believed people experience when they die. She based these beliefs on having worked with countless dying patients, including many who had out-of-body experiences or literally died and then returned to life.

On the very first page of the book, Dr. Ross wrote, “The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours. This is very important to know.” That simple message is so powerful that I wanted to share it here. Many of us spend so much time worrying if others will approve of our actions, but at the end of the day, is that really what matters? Is that the area we should be focusing our energies on? Or should we be persevering to do what we feel, truly and deeply, is right for us?

I think that blogging here has been very beneficial for me. Think about it: every single week I have to stop and ask myself, What positive thing can I say about the world today? This means putting aside the stressful days at work, the annoying driver in front of you causing a traffic jam or the pain of missing someone who is far away in favor of something more significant. It forces me to get down to the “meat” of what makes life so fascinating. When you strip away the problems, it is really quite beautiful.

To go along with my ramblings on beauty, here is a photo I took last month at Lady Bird Lake in Austin, Texas. I challenge you to take a minute to look at it, to lose yourself in it, and then see if you feel slightly more peaceful, if your day has gotten slightly better.

One good way to fight stress and depression is simply to take the time to indulge in beautiful things every day, be they photos or the real thing.

*Photo taken by April D. Boland, (c) 2008.

Relatives… you either love ‘em or hate ‘em. Most likely, you experience both kinds of feelings at various times. As they say, you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. They are yours for life.

Whether it’s the aunt who constantly points out the weight you’ve gained or the father who keeps asking when you are going to get “a real job,” family can be taxing and, at times, downright stressful. Holidays when people get together with their families are actually the most stressful time of the year for many of us.

And yet, no matter how far we go or how independent we try to be, the connection between most people and their families is something that never quite dies. We tend to value them much more than we realize on the surface. After all, the most important moments of one’s life - graduations, weddings, etc. - are all shared with the family. They need to be there because on this planet, we are all in this together.

Some people find it interesting to research their families and learn about who came before them. This opens up a whole new world of context for those of us living in the 21st century. What made our parents the way they were? What did our ancestors have to work for and struggle with?

There seems to be an invisible tie that binds us to those who share our blood (and often, those who do not - families we carve out for ourselves). Try to remember that the next time your sister pisses you off. I know I will